Presenting: ED’S EYE ON THE HOLLOW
From time to time my writing partner, Ed, will add his astute observations of everyday life in the Hollow. Ed says he changed names to protect the innocent and the infamous.–Dana
Post #1
Hi, Ed here. Summer, our neighbor from another hollow, came to visit Saturday night. She has quite a menagerie at her place and always has an interesting story to tell. She talks, between beers and smokes, the way some people write (Ahem- the way some of us write) with vivid detail , dramatic pause, and flawless comedic timing. Over the years Summer has regaled us with many offbeat tales . For instance, the not-so-bright guinea hens who flew up in a tree and refused to come down because, as Summer discovered, if they can’t see the ground because of snow, they apparently believe that the ground is no longer there! Summer and her daughter had to go outside and sweep and shovel a wide swath around the tree trunk so the birdbrains would come down out of the high limbs and land on the ground. (Perhaps a nervous guinea spotted one of the house cats smiling malevolently from a nearby window, heh,heh.) But then I’ve always said, guineas are great–with stuffing and gravy. Then there was her camera shy peacock who got loose in the house and tore up the joint. Summer was merely trying to take his photograph for her annual Christmas card. Peacocks are notoriously uncooperative during holiday celebrations, but too tough and sinewy to roast for Christmas dinner. Not that I ever ate one.
Summer once owned a large old bird, a parrot I think. This parrot lived in a cage in the bedroom Summer shares with her spouse, Cole. This parrot had a bad habit of laughing hysterically whenever Summer and her husband were making whoopee. When the bird dropped dead in his cage one day, Summer wondered if Cole had anything to do with it. He still maintains his innocence.
For my final Summer story of my very first post on whatshernames’s blog– A big, meaty, Oscar fish lives in a huge aquarium in Summer’s laundry room. She says he has quite the strong personality and claims he pouts whenever she adds anything new to the tank. He head butts the offending creature or ornament and glares through the glass. He will surface and feed out of her hand and try for a finger or two along with the cheese crackers he loves. Oh, Summer also reports that a small cheese cracker retains its buoyancy for 12 hours. Go right ahead and try this at home.
Summer has a million anecdotes about her crazy animals and her dysfunctional (her words) human family. I just particularly enjoy the bird and fish stories, so I began with those. That’s all for today, friends. Time for my nap. Bye, Ed
I reread this first of Ed’s entries and laughed all over again. Keep ‘em coming, Ed.